2.28.2004
speaking too soon...
why does it seem that as soon as i open my mouth to say that i am falling in love with God again, that i no more than seemingly run away? this bewilders me as much as it will you, i think. i do not understand myself somedays. correction; most days. i do not know what the solution is; i only know the problems. surely someone knows the solution for elusive mediocrity... i think... i hope? i another note, some days i seem bound to drown myself in blatant commonality. i do not wish to live an everyday life, i want to live a life of more... i don't want to get through the day for the sake of getting through the day; i want to have a passion that drives me every waking moment. thus far, i have not let anything affect me that way. this little box that i've built around me for protection has turned into a cage, and i want out of it. no more living in a box, i want to live in the freedom that Christ gave to me! i just pray that he gives me the courage and the strength to do it. to God be the Glory!
why does it seem that as soon as i open my mouth to say that i am falling in love with God again, that i no more than seemingly run away? this bewilders me as much as it will you, i think. i do not understand myself somedays. correction; most days. i do not know what the solution is; i only know the problems. surely someone knows the solution for elusive mediocrity... i think... i hope? i another note, some days i seem bound to drown myself in blatant commonality. i do not wish to live an everyday life, i want to live a life of more... i don't want to get through the day for the sake of getting through the day; i want to have a passion that drives me every waking moment. thus far, i have not let anything affect me that way. this little box that i've built around me for protection has turned into a cage, and i want out of it. no more living in a box, i want to live in the freedom that Christ gave to me! i just pray that he gives me the courage and the strength to do it. to God be the Glory!
