unhindered and (seemingly) illogical

hmm...
yeah...
that's all i seem to have to say tonight...
yeah...
maybe i should just sleep. lol.
-maverick-

something looked around the corner
caught me walking unawares
i thought maybe it was life
so i chased it down the back alleyway
he turned down the next street
and ducked into a stained glass shop
i followed him in and thought i caught a glimpse
but it was only the remains of his shadow
i ran out the back door after him
only to see him duck down another back alley
around a building we went
and i found myself right back where i started
with no sign of what i had been chasing
sometimes if you go chasing life
you just end up running in cirlces
and so i continued on my way
to pick up groceries at the supermarket
and i left that shadow for another to chase
-maverick-

a new cd on its way to me soon... a friend was signing up, and couldn't find all of the free ones he wanted, so i got to pick one. for 3 bucks, i'm game. i got the new sixpense none the richer cd... we'll see how it is.
-maverick-

g'morning world...
how are you today? i am fine, thank you...
-maverick-

music update:

a new band out of britian called The Music. they're interesting. don't know how much i like them or not yet, but they are kinda cool, at least. that, and Pete Yorn is coming out with a new album in the middle of april! April 15th, 'Day I Forgot' comes out... oh yeah, should be good!
-maverick-

i said to heck with it and slept in some today... made a difference. getting close to finishing the english paper. hopefully by supper time. but? other than that, not much exciting going on here. on of my buddies comes back tonight, so there will at least be someone to chill with. yeah...
-maverick-

time to unplug myself from this for the day, i think...
-maverick-

hmm.... chocolate....skittles? skittles won out, it appears...
taste the rainbow!
-maverick-

thank you Lord for who you are and the peace that you give me...
You are awesome God!

on that note, i think i need a chocolate bar... lol!
-maverick-

some days are kinda like bad dreams... you just wish you'd wake up and it would be over. kinda like today... its not all that bad, i just wish it was over... and things keep getting changed on me... some answers, lots more questions...! but, who knows? enough complaining. it hasn't been that bad of a day, pretty good actually. i just feel like i know less now than i did at the start of the day. and i am trying to learn how to just trust God with everything, but sometimes that is just really hard. and sometimes i just don't know how to trust Him like i should. and that just adds to frustrations. due dates are looming, on more than just homework, and it seems like i am running out of time for answers. i know i shouldn't stress so much, i just need to trust God. i know He will do His will, and that will be what is best. even as i type this i know that it is true, and i am feeling a little less stressed, and a lot more at peace about life in general. i am glad i serve a good God. i just wish sometimes He'd give me answers sooner... but where would faith be in that? there wouldn't be, and then i certainly wouldn't be thinking about how much i need Him, like i am right now. so, it is a good thing, i guess. just hard sometimes when it feels like life is about to keep moving without you, and you'll be left on the platform clutching your ticket, b/c you decided too late which train to catch. but, luckily for me, i don't only serve a God who sells the tickets, but he is the conductor and the engineer as well! so, i am in good hands, this i know... and with that little venting, i feel much more sure of what God wants to do in my life, whatever that may be. anyhow...

now that i have finished with all that.... i have gotten some research done on my history paper, which is a good thing. i have some idea now at least of where i want to be going with it. which is more than i had at lunch time! i am overcome with the urge to write. not so much academically, as i am being forced to do, but rather freely and creatively. i have no idea what i want to write, as i seldom do when i feel this, but am armed only with the drive to create something out of words. pictures, emotions, allusions, directions, be what it will... i just feel the need to put words on a page. this is somewhat satisfying, although it doesn't really embody what i feel. this is more an account of what is in a purely logical, cognitive sense, not what exists outside of those dimensions. and yes i believe that there are things that exist outside a purely logical, cognitive world. and this is what i wish somehow to capture in a sentence, in a line, with a word. when i write, i want you to feel what i feel, to see what i see, to hear what i hear. i don't necesarrily want you to think the way i do... i want you to understand where i am coming from, and where i want to take you, without having to think about it. is this a sign of good writing? i don't know. it is what i like to do. to bring you to a place that perhaps you have never been, or have been all too many times, and to let you enjoy that somehow, identify with that. sometimes this is pleasant, sometimes it is painful, but i think that it is part of an experience that makes us human, that we can identify with one another. and so, if i can accomplish this one purpose, than i believe, at least for me, that i have succeeded. if you can identify with what i write, than i am satisfied. and yet, so much of what i write is simply for myself, an expression of who i am, that i cannot put forth in any other manner. and yet i find, that in my expressions, some can relate. and that is the flip side of my goal, to put forth a piece of myself in a way that you can understand and relate to. and that is why i write...

anyhow, now that i have surely dissuaded anyone who might actually read this, i shall digress...
-maverick-

ahhh...!!!
must focus now!
-maverick-

grrr...
so, definitely not getting anywhere on my history paper. this is not looking too good. but? there is still time, so i am not going to stress too much, yet.
-maverick-

yeah, definitely not getting much of anything done at all today. oh well.
-maverick-

yeah, so i am definitely not getting as much done this morning as i had wanted to. just kinda a lazy morning. i just want it to be lunch time, 'cause i am hungry! other than that? nothing exciting going on. it seems to be a bit warmer today then it has been for a bit, so that is nice... but? it is windy, which i do not like. oh well. enough of me complaining. i'm off...
-maverick-

well, got a good amount of homework done today, i think. the harder part of my english paper written, so? and my room is once again liveable, so? that is a good thing. it is... and i am getting tired, so i don't know what else to write. so, i won't write anymore tonight.
-maverick-

hmm... so the 20 min. nap that i intended to take somehow turned into over an hour... hmm... too late to do anything about it now! but? homework beckons... i'm losing my mind already, and its only tuesday. it is nice and quiet... almost too much so............AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! *grin*
-maverick-

so, i am getting stuff done, slowly but surely.
it'll all get done, at some point.
yeah.
-maverick-

today, i hope, shall be the day i slay the first of the the three great dragons daunting me this week: my english paper.
shouldn't be too terribly bad, so? we shall see, though.
on a random side note, i think i am addicted to fruit loops for breakfast.
-maverick-

McDonalds is almost always a mistake...
i don't think tonight is going to be an exception...
'specially w/ the double quarter pounder i ate, and the strawberry milkshake...
yeah. time for sleep, me thinks.
-maverick-

God is so awesome!
Good friends rank pretty high, too... :P
-maverick-

arrghh....
you wouldn't think it would be so hard to get information at a college. but it is. at least today, and its frustrating. but? trying to figure out my internship. yeah. fun fun fun...

okay, no more complaining. it will work out, for sure. just frustrated.
yeah.
-maverick-

anyhow... been a few days, eh? its monday now, though, and that means that its time to get some work done. yeah.... i had a nice relaxing weekend to just have fun, and hang out, so that was cool. now, its time to get down to biz. oy.

on a more random note, what exactly does it take for "art" ro be considered as such? i went to a "art" gallery over the weekend, and i was thoroughly unimpressed by what i saw there. there were some things that were nice, and very artistic. and the rest of it? hmmm... yeah. i just don't know. is it merely b/c i am uncultured, or don't know enough about art to be able to judge its supposed inherent value? or is it b/c it is all a big farse, and the value simply isn't there? i have learned a little about judging art, a few simple rules to apply to it. according to what i know, most of what i saw would not be considered "good art". a lot of it would be quite poor. i don't know. lots of questions, w/ no good answers. i am a photographer of sorts. i don't claim tp be very good at it, but i enjoy it immensely. does that make me an "artist"? simply by attempting? or is there a certain level which must be achieved in order to be classified as such? i don't really consider my self an "artist" so to speak. but? another question without a good answer. enough of that for today. its almost time for lunch. lol...
-maverick-

caught looking at the world upside down
forgot to ask permission
you turned me inside out and spun around
my heart your acquisition

hmm... that was random. oh well. lol...
-maverick-