unhindered and (seemingly) illogical

so, its funny how much difference the listening ear of a friend can make...

life is such a crazy mixed up mess sometimes... i wonder if God doesn't keep it choatic sometimes on purpose. keep me dependant on Him? cause it always seems like when i start thinking i am doing good, he throws me a curve ball... sometimes in just the strangest little ways. i just don't know... i do know that He is faithful, and that He always helps me back on my feet when i make a mistake... (often) hmm... yeah. God is cool.
-maverick-

GRRRR!!!
-maverick-

this is something i wrote quite some time ago, but it just seemed appropriate, so i will post it:

Somwhere out between
What I know and what I feel
You wait for me
When will I find you
I hope that it's soon
Somewhere out there
You lie in wait for me
But, you are elusive
You hide in the shadows
And you remain unseen
I will remain faithful
To the idea that
You will be faithful to me
Because I know you are waiting
You are waiting...
Somewhere out between...

this just seems to convey what my relationship with God feels like sometimes...
somedays just seems like this...
fourtunately, most days are much better than this... :)
-maverick-

turn away
fall down
get back up
spin around

-maverick-

i went out this afternoon to take some photos, and found myself quite uninspired. i don't know why, but nothing around me really seemed to catch my attention like i thought it would. i just don't know. i was feeling like i would get something good, but? alas, it was to no avail. i guess that's just how it goes sometimes, eh? this place can be a little bleak for photo opportunities, anyhow. but still... i just don't know. other than that, it has just been quiet afternoon of doing nothing. maybe i will go write. when pictures fail, i can always fall back on words...
-maverick-

so, i woke up this morning, and went outside, and it was absolutely beautiful. it was snowing lightly, and it was probably close to zero, and there was hardly a breath of wind. it was almost silient... the quietness of the lack of wind, and the hush that fresh snow brings... it almost wanted to make me cry, as bizarre as that sounds. i wanted to sit there forever, ever in the perfect silence that was there... and yet, i got to spend but a minute there, as the rest of my life beckoned me to move on. class was about to start, life wasn't stopping merely for me. i wonder if i will regret not stopping and enjoying it. i already do somewhat. so, what matters more in the end? learning, and other things deemed important by us and our society? or to take a moment, regardless of life's demands, and just take some time in reflection and appreciation? did life offer a quick moment of respite, and did i pass it by? i don't know. i have a feeling that i should have stayed, and yet the moment is now gone, and life still goes on.
-maverick-

on a side note, i really wish i knew just a little tiny bit of html.
oh well, what is a guy to do?
-maverick-

i want to roam the world... me, my camera, and my pen... maybe someday... for real, i want to go...

until then, stuff like this (loud snickers) consoles me:

http://www.candystand.com/games/cs_shock_cspe.htm

500 points?
oh well... i never wanted to be a wildlife photographer anyhow...
-maverick-

suddenly, i am overwhelmed by a desire for things familiar. i want to be home, near my mountains. i don't miss my family, per se. but, i do miss them too. i want to be where the money is all the same color, and when the sign says its $1.50, that's exactly what you pay. i guess that i am just tried of the flatness and the coldness and the barrenness of this place. yes, it does have its beauty, and its endearing qualities, but i just can't see them right now. i just long for what is comfortable. i know this isn't always a good thing, but hey, this is me. i would guess we all long for things that are comfortable at times. because who wants to feel out of place?
-maverick-

its amazing the power that words can contain. the lines of the song below, for instance. i can't put into words easily why these lines impact me the way that they do, but they have a profound impact on me. they reach out and grab me in a way that few other things can. i can't even begin to understand or describe it, really. all i know is that words impact people, often in ways that were far from intended, but they make an impact nonetheless. may i never abuse the power of words...
-maverick-

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh (x4)

The Scientist
-Coldplay-

so, its january, and its raining. not that i am complaining, by any means. it is much better than the -30 it was yesterday. hopefully i can go take some pictures today... so anyways...
-maverick-