7.19.2003
hmm...
been really hot here, i can say that much!
got a cell phone today. i'm a big shot now... lol! cell phones are supposed to give you more freedom, but somehow it just feels like more responsiblity! but? such is life...
been really hot here, i can say that much!
got a cell phone today. i'm a big shot now... lol! cell phones are supposed to give you more freedom, but somehow it just feels like more responsiblity! but? such is life...
7.17.2003
blurry.
brain won't stop.
i am beggining to think i am glad that i am not going back to school this year. as much as i will miss it, i don't know that it would have been all that great. i can begin to see a lot of things that maybe just wouldn't have been as good as i thought they would be at first. some things would just be too hard, as good as they might seem. i am beggining to learn that sometimes what seems the best isn't always. good as it may be, good doesn't always make it the right thing to do. life is full of good choices, but i don't get to choose them all. the hard part is knowing what tyo choose and what to let go. some dyas the choices seem so clear, and others they seem so jumbled and confused. and just as soon as i think i've got it all nailed down, something jumps in and throws me for a loop. or, as good as it seems from one side, from another perspective it doesn't seem so great. sometimes i have trouble seeing from anything other than my limited and narrow perspective. need to work on that. but, the one who i am trying to let guide my life has the ultimate perspective, and that's a good thing. so? enough rambling about something that i kinda already know the answer to in the larger sense... it is just in the details that it gets blurry.
blurry.
brain won't stop.
i am beggining to think i am glad that i am not going back to school this year. as much as i will miss it, i don't know that it would have been all that great. i can begin to see a lot of things that maybe just wouldn't have been as good as i thought they would be at first. some things would just be too hard, as good as they might seem. i am beggining to learn that sometimes what seems the best isn't always. good as it may be, good doesn't always make it the right thing to do. life is full of good choices, but i don't get to choose them all. the hard part is knowing what tyo choose and what to let go. some dyas the choices seem so clear, and others they seem so jumbled and confused. and just as soon as i think i've got it all nailed down, something jumps in and throws me for a loop. or, as good as it seems from one side, from another perspective it doesn't seem so great. sometimes i have trouble seeing from anything other than my limited and narrow perspective. need to work on that. but, the one who i am trying to let guide my life has the ultimate perspective, and that's a good thing. so? enough rambling about something that i kinda already know the answer to in the larger sense... it is just in the details that it gets blurry.
blurry.
now if i could only get all the little things done on my truck, i could actually drive it.
and that would make me happy.
but? until then? at least i don't have to go to work until 6 tomorrow. that's a good thing. couldn't handle 5 am again tomorrow.
and that would make me happy.
but? until then? at least i don't have to go to work until 6 tomorrow. that's a good thing. couldn't handle 5 am again tomorrow.
7.14.2003
last night may have been a doorway walked though, or perhaps just a realization (again) of what matters most in my life. i decided to make some changes, nothing huge, mostly personal, but things that i have wanted to change for a while i am simply just going to change. no more excuses, no more putting it off. just going to do it, w/ God's help, of course. :) i won't make excuses for who i am any more. i am not perfect, just trying. :P no excuses for not being who i could be though, either. yeah.
7.13.2003
