unhindered and (seemingly) illogical

pink cut-out hearts and stale heart shaped candy... this is the best of what love has to offer? seemingly so nonsensical, yet sometimes so truthful about what love is supposed to be. so, in the midst of the absurd, truth can be observed...

does it ever seem like you just never have enough money? sometimes it seems that i don't. no, it always seems like i don't. oh, well. what can ya do? not much, i guess. anyhow... that's about all, i guess, for now.

God is SO good.
g'night.

the smell of damp earth, wet pavement, and the sound of water hitting water... it takes me to a place long since forgotten, left to die in the recesses of my mind... this return is frightening and heartwarming both, and i am left to sort it out.

oh, and on a side note...

i have completely given up on girls.

enough said.

catch your breath
hit the wall
scream out loud
as you start to crawl
back in your cage
the only place
where they will
leave you alone
cause the weak will seek the weaker till they've broken them
could you get it back again
would it be the same
fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense
left you with no defense
they tore it down

and I have felt the same
as you I've felt the same
as you I've felt the same

locked inside
the only place
where you feel sheltered
where you feel safe
you lost yourself
in your search to find
something else to hide behind
cause the fearful always preyed upon your confidence
didn't they see the consequence
they pushed you around
the arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones
breaking them till they've become
just another crown

and I have felt the same
as you I've felt the same
as you I've felt the same
as you I've felt the same

refuse to feel
anything at all
refuse to slip
refuse to fall
can't be weak
can't stand still
watch your back
cause no one will

you don't know why they had to go this far
traded your worth for these scars
for your only company
and don't believe the lies that they have told to you
not one word was true
you're alright
you're alright
you're alright

and I have felt the same
as you I've felt the same
as you I've felt the same
as you I've felt the same

Simon
Lifehouse

turning. twisting. scraming. falling, in a heap upon your self. life wasn't meant to be this way. you can overcome it... don't look back, it will only drag you down. look ahead, but not too far, just enough to know when to duck... life is what you make it, so make the best of it....

so, i didn't go to church again today. i think it's been at least a month since i've gone, only partly through my choosing. however, i wasn't complaining about not going. it's not that i believe in God any less or anything, its just that... i have a hard time going to my church. they seem so dead. i have been thinking about looking for a new church, but? i dunno... its just frustrating, ya know? but anyhow...

went to the concerts last night... other than being a little too loud overall, it was pretty dang good. the first two bands were nothing special, but our lady peace and 3 doors down both put on pretty good shows. i wish our lady peace would have played a little longer, but? it was cool...

other than that? not much going on here. its going to be a quiet sunday, i do believe, so that is a good thing. i need a nice quiet day to chill before i have to go back to work tomorrow. i am supposed to go to a youth leadership meeting tonight, but i really don't want to. i don't even know that i am going to continue to be a part of the leadership team, so? anyhow... enough of that.

The words you never cared to say
I want to find a better place
When we rely on something more than this
And even as I try to sleep
I'm looking for my best friends
I'm tired of all the people I'm seeing through
(The) Same idea:
It makes me wonder why I'm here
And even when I try to sleep
Still looking for my best friend
When we rely on something more than this
The words you never cared to say,
"I want to start a family"
I'm tired of all the people I'm seeing through
(The) Same idea
It makes me wonder why I'm here
Watch me now
Try
Couldn't walk down that line
Just pass me by
Just passing by.

Pass Me By
Pete Yorn