10.25.2003
oh, so very close...
i ran my 1.5 miles in 13:26 this afternoon. passing mark to get into the MHP is 13:22. and i walked almost a quarter mile of it. at least i know that i CAN do it. i still have 3 weeks, so? i am pretty confident about it. the one that worries me the most right now is the sit and reach test. i think that i have to be able to reach just past my toes, and as of yet i can't do it! i am a pretty unflexible person, so? i am not sure what i am going to do there. we'll see. if God wants me to make it, i will... and that is that.
in other news... lol. nothing too much going on today. has been a pretty quiet saturday as of yet. i am definitely not complaining, its pretty nice. would have liked to do something today, but? went shopping with my sister for a bit, managed to find some nice khacki (sp?) pants on clearance, so that was cool. other than that? i think i am going to go find something to eat soon, as my stomach is comlaining a bit... lol...
i ran my 1.5 miles in 13:26 this afternoon. passing mark to get into the MHP is 13:22. and i walked almost a quarter mile of it. at least i know that i CAN do it. i still have 3 weeks, so? i am pretty confident about it. the one that worries me the most right now is the sit and reach test. i think that i have to be able to reach just past my toes, and as of yet i can't do it! i am a pretty unflexible person, so? i am not sure what i am going to do there. we'll see. if God wants me to make it, i will... and that is that.
in other news... lol. nothing too much going on today. has been a pretty quiet saturday as of yet. i am definitely not complaining, its pretty nice. would have liked to do something today, but? went shopping with my sister for a bit, managed to find some nice khacki (sp?) pants on clearance, so that was cool. other than that? i think i am going to go find something to eat soon, as my stomach is comlaining a bit... lol...
10.23.2003
10.22.2003
so, i am sitting here staring at this screen when there's prolly about a million other things i should/could be doing. so? i figured that while i am here, i might as well get something accomlished. well, not really accomplished, but at least do something. so, this is it? nothing really so far. can you beleive it, so this post is about nothing more really than about me writing this post. kinda a weird feeling reading this now, huh? a post in a blog about posting in a blog. hmm... kinda like one of those dreaming that your dreaming type dreams. anyhow, enought random nonesense. this post is done.
10.21.2003
so, why does it always cost me something to be nice to someone else? is that the whole priniciple of the thing, or what? hmm... a quandry.
10.20.2003
well, it did turn out to be a pretty good day, and i have no complaints. i was going to clean my room tonight, but opted instead to do some reading, which has turned out to be worthwhile, so? the room can wait one more day, don't ya think? well, i do, so, it will. anyhow... yeah. need to get back to my reading, i suppose. i am not getting too much done here!
actually have a couple minutes before i have to go to work... me? up early? yeah, i know, it's weird. but, that's the way it worked this morning. so? i won't complain. just thought i'd jump on here, say that so far its looking to shape up like a pretty good day, so? i hope that yours goes as well as i hope mine does. :P g'day!
10.19.2003
hmm...
just been a lazy day. i don't know, but it just has been, ya know? feel like i got nothing accomplished, although i did a little. just kinda out of it......... been tired all day. i should be reading for school, but i am fairly unmotivated about that whole prospect. looking forward to nov., and going to school for the week. mostly looking forward to seeing all my friends. we will have fun, as we always do.
i am just feeling restless tonight, as i often seem to feel these days. i don't know what it is, i just feel... restless. like i should be moving, but instead i am standing still. part of it is, i think, my job. i really don't care for it, in fact, i have liked most of the other jobs i have had more than this one. hopefully i can get another one soon, i don't know. i know that isn't all of it, though. i don't know what the rest of it is. i wish i did. i am no i am not supposed to be at home in this world, that i am supposed to be stranger, always loking forward to heaven as my true home... is this what that is? i don't know. do i just need to learn to be more content? i have everything that i could possibly need, and many more things beside that are only wants. i used to think those things would make this go away, and maybe momentarily, they do. but i know that they merely distract, and that is it. so, i don't know what this is all about. i am not down, i'm not having a bad day; quite the contrary, actually. i just know that something seems to be missing. once upon a time i used to try and fill that void with girls, and that didn't work too well, either. no need to elaborate on that. i know that i need something more in my life, and i know that the only thing that can fill it is God himself. was that such a hard conclusion to come to? how long have i know this simple conclusion? longer than i can to admit. and how long have i lived in light of this same conclusion? short enough of a time that it is embarrasing to mention. oh wait, have i ever lived it at all, really? maybe one breif stretch that lasted 4 months, maybe 5. and the rest, of the how many years that i have prolly been fully aware that only God can really give me what i need? well, let's not talk about those ones, okay? they are too many to recount, anyhow. so, i know this thing, but i have really only ever beleived it once that i can think of. well, i think that maybe i am really starting to beleive again, b/c i know that nothing else will take away this restlessness, this yearning for more. so maybe its just time to beleive.
hmm... i guess that's about all i have to say for this evening.. i think i am going to go to bed and read for a while... ya know? so, yeah... g'night all...
just been a lazy day. i don't know, but it just has been, ya know? feel like i got nothing accomplished, although i did a little. just kinda out of it......... been tired all day. i should be reading for school, but i am fairly unmotivated about that whole prospect. looking forward to nov., and going to school for the week. mostly looking forward to seeing all my friends. we will have fun, as we always do.
i am just feeling restless tonight, as i often seem to feel these days. i don't know what it is, i just feel... restless. like i should be moving, but instead i am standing still. part of it is, i think, my job. i really don't care for it, in fact, i have liked most of the other jobs i have had more than this one. hopefully i can get another one soon, i don't know. i know that isn't all of it, though. i don't know what the rest of it is. i wish i did. i am no i am not supposed to be at home in this world, that i am supposed to be stranger, always loking forward to heaven as my true home... is this what that is? i don't know. do i just need to learn to be more content? i have everything that i could possibly need, and many more things beside that are only wants. i used to think those things would make this go away, and maybe momentarily, they do. but i know that they merely distract, and that is it. so, i don't know what this is all about. i am not down, i'm not having a bad day; quite the contrary, actually. i just know that something seems to be missing. once upon a time i used to try and fill that void with girls, and that didn't work too well, either. no need to elaborate on that. i know that i need something more in my life, and i know that the only thing that can fill it is God himself. was that such a hard conclusion to come to? how long have i know this simple conclusion? longer than i can to admit. and how long have i lived in light of this same conclusion? short enough of a time that it is embarrasing to mention. oh wait, have i ever lived it at all, really? maybe one breif stretch that lasted 4 months, maybe 5. and the rest, of the how many years that i have prolly been fully aware that only God can really give me what i need? well, let's not talk about those ones, okay? they are too many to recount, anyhow. so, i know this thing, but i have really only ever beleived it once that i can think of. well, i think that maybe i am really starting to beleive again, b/c i know that nothing else will take away this restlessness, this yearning for more. so maybe its just time to beleive.
hmm... i guess that's about all i have to say for this evening.. i think i am going to go to bed and read for a while... ya know? so, yeah... g'night all...
